How to Find a Common Language With Children?

21st Century kids can articulate themselves beyond belief. One minute they will talk about doing homework or playing with other children in the street, and the next, how making greener choices can save the earth. 

Yes, they will tell you things as they are, but getting them to talk about what’s bothering them can be like pulling teeth. Children have two families. The first is their parents, and the second one: The Internet, pop culture, and peer groups. 

You have a communication barrier with your kids because they are more concerned about seeking validation from their second family. 

Following are some tips on how to develop a healthy relationship with your children:

Advice for Parents

Stop With the Criticism

Regarding children, parents believe that the best way to make them aware of their wrongs and set them straight is to criticize. Your words send a wave of rejection towards them, which makes them feel incompetent. As a result, children stop confiding in their parents. 

To tackle this problem, focus on the positive when they are talking about something you disapprove of. At this point, know your mind and mold the negative comments into advice.

Create Talking Rituals

Does your child have a conversation style? How children learn and behave changes over time, but how they talk stays the same. For example, one of your children might be a lively, happy morning person while the other responds with grunts until the school bus arrives. 

Personal boundaries play a role here. You must respect your children’s choices and interact with them according to their personalities. Answer every question the chipper son asks and ask your quiet daughter if she needs something. Establish a talking ritual where you sit with them and have a chat about anything in their style.

Ask Instead of Lecturing

Lecturing never leads to anything good. It makes your child want to do the exact opposite. Stop for a minute and consider this: The point you are trying to get across to your child is that of responsibility. You can do this by listening to them and asking them if they would like your advice. Express your opinion instead of forcing it on them.

Using ‘Noticing’ Statements

Children liked to be noticed. They want parents to praise them for their efforts. One of the best ways to build a healthy relationship with your child is to pat them on the back for a job well done. Instead of saying, “Good job,” say, “I noticed that you have been cleaning your room daily. Nice work!”

Advice for Grandparents

Tell Family Stories

As much as parents play a vital role in the lives of children, so do grandparents. Hence, you should ensure that your children have a loving bond with your parents from both sides of the family. A great way to get started is by telling family stories. Tell your parents to do the same. Explain the family tree and tell fun tales of how your parents used to be.

Work on Projects

Encourage your children to seek help for school projects from grandparents. Getting help will allow them to spend quality time with their grandparents.

Share Accomplishments

If your parents don’t stay with you, ensure they are a part of your children’s lives by telling them to share accomplishments with their grandparents. You can connect them virtually or tell your children to write a letter.

Watch Their Favorite Movies

With so many movies released in series of threes, such as the Avengers, children have developed a following and religiously watch sequels. Most of their talk revolves around a fictional character they love. 

Grandparents can jump into this conversation by having movie dates with their grandchildren. It will be entertaining and a learning moment because movies nowadays have a moral that resonates with children. Such outings will give grandparents insight into what their grandchildren care about. 

And this is how parents and grandparents can build healthy relationships with children! Follow our advice and develop an open communication channel with your children, where they confide in you and listen to your advice.

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